LOVE my Family

Mammaw (my grandma) and Charlie (my niece)

My beautiful niece, Charlie

To My Sweet Baby, Ellie Kate

I dreamed about you last night. You were beautiful. You had baby blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes. I held you and you were so soft. You were such a sweet baby. You started to cry and I spoke to you and you looked at me and stopped. My heart aches for you. I wake up. You are no longer in my arms. I look for you and realize it was just another dream. I go to the bathroom and know that you are not coming this month. My heart sinks. Another month, no baby. I TRUST the Lord. He is my all in all. He is my Father and your Father. He knows when you need to come to me. He knows when your brother should come to me. He has our plans written in His Book of Life. I know you are waiting in Heaven for me. Either you or another sweet baby. I am praying for you. I am waiting for you. I am hoping with all my heart that the Lord will send you to me soon. I already love you so much. I can't wait to look in your baby blue eyes and just hold you and talk to you. I know the Lord is loving you and holding you until I am able to. That gives me GREAT comfort. I just want you to know that I love you with all my heart and can't wait for you to come to me.

Mommy

One Stinkin' Pound

So...after a month of Weight Watchers and exercising, I have lost one stinking pound. A little ridiculous. Wes says I should just keep going and hopefully it will start all coming off now. I sure hope so! This is crazy! I fear to be stuck above 180 forever! Please no! Also, its a little confusing when you're wanting to loose weight and get pregnant...those two don't really go together.... Just be praying, people. Thanks.

My Niece

Finally a pic of my beautiful niece, Charlie Annabelle. :)

Rough Day

Been very down today. I feel defeated by my weight, my struggles with becoming pregnant, my need of a summer job, etc. This was a wonderful message to listen to today.

http://www.churchofthehighlands.com/media/message/drink-again#

Weighing Me Down

I cannot begin to tell you how many times I've said I was going to loose weight in the past 3 years. I have said it over and over again and yet, I sit here still 185lbs rolling all over. According to my BMI, I am....OBESE! Can you believe that word? I never thought I would associate that word with me. I am to my limit and have finally taken a good step forward. I have joined Weight Watchers. So far, I have not lost anything, but yet again, I have not gained anything either. This is my 2nd week on the program. The HARDEST part for me is getting on that scale after a week of hard work and seeing nothing has changed. Apparently that is called impatience. That is definitely me--impatient. I want things NOW, I don't want to wait a year or two. This will be my biggest challenge in my weight loss journey. I MUST stay focused, MUST not give up, and MUST be determined. I KNOW I can do it! I am starting out a little slow because I have basically been sedentary since I've been married. It amazes me how hard it is to walk a mile now! I know it will not be 1 month, 2 months, or even 7 months. I've just got to stick in there and know that my efforts will eventually pay off. Please join me in prayer about this and I can take all the encouragement that I can get!

Is there anyone out there?

Just curious who actually reads my blog. Sometimes I wonder if its just me writing to the computer. If you read my blog, just comment on this post so I know you're out there! :)