Feels Like Summatime...

Pete in the Pool at my Mom's

This is sort of an update on what's going on with us Dunsieths. We are still living in Eclectic in my dad's trailer. Thankfully, we have no roommates as of Friday! Whoo Hoo! (Not that I don't love my brother...) My brother moved to my mom's house in Auburn and his friend Josh moved to his own trailer. It feels nice to be alone again. Wes and I have started cleaning out this place (BIG job) and hopefully will have a yard sale soon (shooting for Saturday). We are also going to try to start painting, fixing some things, and eventually doing the flooring. We figured we'll probably be here a while longer than we thought so we might as well start fixing up some stuff. I guess our goal is to fix this place up and stay in it maybe another 6months- a year. I'll be graduating in Spring of 2010 (finally) and Wes will HOPEFULLY be getting a better job soon, so hopefully we can start looking at houses within 6months- a year. Please pray for us. We are both taking classes this summer and Wes will be tutoring again at Autaguaville High School and will probably get another part-time job. I will be babysitting some and might be tutoring as well. The Autaguaville principal really likes Wes and has already told him that he'd find a job for him in the Fall at the school...we shall see...don't want to get our hopes up yet again. I am very excited about graduating soon and having my own classroom. I even started a little website for my classroom. Haha. You can view it here if you so please: http://mrsdunsieth.blogspot.com/. I guess I kinda feel like Wes does...I asked him one night what is different from what he thought marriage would be like and he said "Well, I guess I just thought we'd have a house and good jobs." It definitely does NOT just fall into your lap like you imagine it to. We are really having to be patient and wait on the Lord's timing for all these things. It's quite hard. We are just thankful that my dad lets us stay here for practically free. Like Paul said "I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am." (Philippians 4:11) And that is the attitude we are trying to take.

Jon & Kate Splitting Up??

I must say that I am so depressed after tonight's episode. Before I saw the awkward turtle episode tonight, I really thought I knew what was happening between them. I have seen the latest interviews--including the explosive one with Kate's brother and sister-in-law--and really thought I knew whose side I was on. But now...I am CONFUSED! Kate seemed very sad and hurt, but Jon really didn't seem too fazed. Kate was, as usual, very self-righteous and unabashed...but...something was raw and real in her eyes. On the other hand, Jon was quite rude and blatant. I just don't know what to think anymore. The way they were talking was like they have already decided it is over. MAN was it awkward! They barely talked and the mood was so grim! I heard that in order for them to continue with this season, they have to have marital counseling...I sure hope they do. I don't know why I'm so obsessed, but I just hate to see such a marriage go down the toilet. It is so sad! I REALLY hope they can wake up to reality here and get their heads on straight. Get back together Jon and Kate! :( I guess I almost feel like they are family. I want to just call them up or something...or bap them on the head. Sigh. I guess we'll see what happens. I just wish they had come out and said what the heck was really going on...

6 Months

Friday marked our 6 month-a-versary of being married. Little did I know we were celebrating. :) I awoke to see little post-it notes. Wes was already awake and in the living room. I read the first post-it and it said "I love everything about you. Even what you consider flaws. You are my other half. Happy 6 months. I have a surprise for you." The rest were clues that led me around the house to finally my underwear drawer. lol. In it was a sweet card where he wrote how much our marriage meant to him. At the end he wrote "Now get ready, you have an appointment at the nail salon, the tanning salon, and Dawson's." (Dawson's is a favorite restaurant of ours) So my awesome husband took me to get my nails done (pedi, mani, and eyebrows), to get a spray tan, and to eat at one of our favorite restaurants. He is so amazing! He knew I was in a wedding this weekend and needed some of that done and he knew it had been a while since I had treated myself to any of that since we are on such a tight budget. It was a much needed day of relaxation and pampering. He patiently waited for me all day and did everything he could to make my day great. I am just so blessed to have such an incredibly awesome husband!! :) I love you, Wes, and I look forward to a million anniversaries with you! :)

Jon and Kate (I just had to...)

Wes and I have been following the recent developments of Jon and Kate. We've been watching the show since we've been together (Wes, not so voluntarily, lol). We have taken their story as a lesson to ourselves. It is SO easy to take each other for granted! (Especially if you've got a smash hit show on TLC, a 1.3 million dollar house, and all the fame that follows.) In my opinion their relationship has been spiraling down for a while now. Just by body language and the way they talk (and yell) proves it. While Wes and I definitely have fights of our own, I hope I am NEVER so blind to not see his discomfort or his drifting away like Kate has. Just watching the episodes and her explosive selfishness makes ME feel bad! I wonder if she ever looks at herself objectively (YouTube--Jon and Kate "ugly moments"). After watching those, I began to reflect on my own attitudes and choice of words in my own relationship. How can she ignore all of this is beyond me...maybe she justifies it in her own mind.
Jon seems to be a very submissive person who just wants everyone to be happy (this is just my opinion based off of almost every episode of their show, I do not by any means know him personally). Kate has ran him over time and time again to where he is just exhausted and ready to give up. As evident from last season's finale, Jon is ready to quit this fiasco and go back to normal life. While it is true what they said, they really can't ever go back, Jon is crying out for Kate to see what this is doing to him. Seemingly, she doesn't care. She said that SHE wanted to keep going. From a wife's point of view, WAKE UP KATE! You're husband is dying! When's the last time you've cared about HIS needs? Kate says that her main priority is the kids. Maybe this was the mistake to begin with. From all the pastors and bible studies I've heard, it is your husband that comes first, then your kids. Don't get me wrong, children are SUPER important and are definitely a HUGE priority! But in my beliefs, it is the husband and wife relationship that is the ROCK and foundation of the family. If that crumbles, the whole family falls. That has definitely been my experience in my own family--my parents divorced when I was 15 years old. Just looking at all the stuff Kate's OWN BROTHER is saying (http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2009/05/exclusive-new-interview-kate-gosselins-family-blasts-tv-mom) is just proof that the Gosselin family is just spinning out of control. I mean a contract that they can see other people as long as they continue filming? WhAt??!! I mean, are you kidding me? And Kate still says "everything I do is for my children". Um...maybe not... I, by no means, know this family personally, but from what I have seen, I am definitely taking notes and lessons for my own marriage. NO marriage is perfect, but we can strive to be the best we can. God compares his realtionship to us to marriage. Now that I am married, I can definitely see why. Marriage is a commitment. It is a choice, a commitment, a decision, a way of life. Everyone is going to have bad days. Everyone has stressful situations. Marriage IS hard. I am NOT going to pretend that it's not. BUT, in the end it is a vow, a commitment, and a choice. I choose to love Wes everyday for who he is despite my stresses and disappointments. YES, there are days that are super hard! We have even talked about how terribly HARD it would be if 8 kids were involved. BUT, just as God chooses to love us no matter what and never forsake or turn his back on us, so should husband and wives. I am sure there are times God is wondering why in the world He created me and why He gave his only Son for my horrible, terrible sins, BUT it is a love and commitment that is deeper than anything in this world. I do not know Jon and Kate, but I feel I have sort of gotten to know them and their family through their show and I just pray for the sake of their marriage and their children (their REAL life) and their influence on others, that they wake up and see the light. I pray God does a big work in their lives. No one is perfect. God still loves them of course! And I am sure He is hurting just as bad as we are to watch them go down the toilet. I just keep thinking that years from now we're going to see their children in an interview with Oprah about how psychologically affected they are. :( C'mon and see what you are doing Jon and Kate! I know the fame is tempting (I can only imagine), but remember Who you are living for and live for Him! This has just been on my mind for the last couple of days. Thanks for reading. Their story can definitely be something to learn from, I just pray they see things before it is too late.

Super Wife

This is sort of a continuation of my last blog. I just want to say thanks to my wonderful husband for being so great and loving! As stated in my previous blog, I was in kind of a funk all month. Finally I realized that I was really putting too much pressure on myself to be perfect. My husband finally told me that I DON'T have to be super wife. He said he does not care if the dishes, laundry, etc. gets done...all he wants if for me to be happy. He made some great points about spending days together instead of worrying about every little detail. He also said you never know when your last day will be, so spend it in happiness and love. He was totally right. I was pressuring myself to be the perfect wife and to Wes, I already was. He accepts me for who I already am and not who I should be. This was just an amazing moment between us. He reminded me that he married me because of the person I already was. He made me feel so good and normal! lol! Anyway, I know I'm rambling, I just felt like I needed to write this. Thank you Wes! I love you!

My Epiphany

Lately I have really been struggling. I'm just going to be honest. I have been struggling with myself, my walk with God, and my marriage. I have talked and talked and prayed (probably less than I should have) and I think I've finally figured it out (I know I drove Wes crazy in the process). When it all came down to it, I realized that basically, I was afraid of being myself. I just felt like I was never a good enough wife, child of God, daughter, daughter-in-law, friend, granddaughter, cousin, etc. I was trying so much to measure up to these phantom expectations. I was putting WAY too much pressure on myself to be something that I'm not. I finally realized, that in a nutshell, I was afraid of truly just being myself. I am who I am. I'm sarcastic, but I would lay my life down for anyone. I love with my whole heart and trust a little too easily. I try to cook well, I'm not that great at it. I hate doing laundry. Our place is usually unorganized. I don't clean as often as I should. I have more of a quick temper than I should. I love God with my whole heart and TRY to live for Him though I fail often. I'm quiet. I'd rather talk about others and listen to them rather than talking about myself. I love to laugh. I'm a very deep thinker. Casual talk is very uninteresting to me, but I'll play to enjoy it. I'm a people pleaser. I am very hard on myself. I'm awkward. I'm pretty much a geek. I'm a perfectionist. I love to laugh. I love to joke around. Sometimes I'm way too serious, but I don't like to be taken very seriously. I long for people to figure me out. I long for deep conversations. I love my family with every breath I have. I love my husband with every breath I have. I can be a jerk. I'm not a very touchy feely person, although I love to be touched. I'm quite complex, but my heart is simply huge. I want to do mission work. If I won the lottery I'd give most of it away. I want to write books, learn how to fly an airplane, travel in space. You get the point. Basically, God INTENTIONALLY made me the way I AM for a reason. No doubt, there is room for improvement. I totally know that. BUT I am "fearfully and wonderfully made", "made in His image", and He "knew me before he formed me in the womb"!! We also must "love others as we love ourselves" (we must love ourselves before we CAN love others). Basically I NEED to accept who I AM and who God made! Afterall, He does not make junk. Thank you for bearing with me and reading. This was mainly just a reminder to myself that I just need to "Bee Myself".