Super Wife

This is sort of a continuation of my last blog. I just want to say thanks to my wonderful husband for being so great and loving! As stated in my previous blog, I was in kind of a funk all month. Finally I realized that I was really putting too much pressure on myself to be perfect. My husband finally told me that I DON'T have to be super wife. He said he does not care if the dishes, laundry, etc. gets done...all he wants if for me to be happy. He made some great points about spending days together instead of worrying about every little detail. He also said you never know when your last day will be, so spend it in happiness and love. He was totally right. I was pressuring myself to be the perfect wife and to Wes, I already was. He accepts me for who I already am and not who I should be. This was just an amazing moment between us. He reminded me that he married me because of the person I already was. He made me feel so good and normal! lol! Anyway, I know I'm rambling, I just felt like I needed to write this. Thank you Wes! I love you!

My Epiphany

Lately I have really been struggling. I'm just going to be honest. I have been struggling with myself, my walk with God, and my marriage. I have talked and talked and prayed (probably less than I should have) and I think I've finally figured it out (I know I drove Wes crazy in the process). When it all came down to it, I realized that basically, I was afraid of being myself. I just felt like I was never a good enough wife, child of God, daughter, daughter-in-law, friend, granddaughter, cousin, etc. I was trying so much to measure up to these phantom expectations. I was putting WAY too much pressure on myself to be something that I'm not. I finally realized, that in a nutshell, I was afraid of truly just being myself. I am who I am. I'm sarcastic, but I would lay my life down for anyone. I love with my whole heart and trust a little too easily. I try to cook well, I'm not that great at it. I hate doing laundry. Our place is usually unorganized. I don't clean as often as I should. I have more of a quick temper than I should. I love God with my whole heart and TRY to live for Him though I fail often. I'm quiet. I'd rather talk about others and listen to them rather than talking about myself. I love to laugh. I'm a very deep thinker. Casual talk is very uninteresting to me, but I'll play to enjoy it. I'm a people pleaser. I am very hard on myself. I'm awkward. I'm pretty much a geek. I'm a perfectionist. I love to laugh. I love to joke around. Sometimes I'm way too serious, but I don't like to be taken very seriously. I long for people to figure me out. I long for deep conversations. I love my family with every breath I have. I love my husband with every breath I have. I can be a jerk. I'm not a very touchy feely person, although I love to be touched. I'm quite complex, but my heart is simply huge. I want to do mission work. If I won the lottery I'd give most of it away. I want to write books, learn how to fly an airplane, travel in space. You get the point. Basically, God INTENTIONALLY made me the way I AM for a reason. No doubt, there is room for improvement. I totally know that. BUT I am "fearfully and wonderfully made", "made in His image", and He "knew me before he formed me in the womb"!! We also must "love others as we love ourselves" (we must love ourselves before we CAN love others). Basically I NEED to accept who I AM and who God made! Afterall, He does not make junk. Thank you for bearing with me and reading. This was mainly just a reminder to myself that I just need to "Bee Myself".

Teaching at Maxwell

This semester I have been taking a Literacy class at AUM--only 3 more semesters to go! The class is 3 classes in 1 and counts for 9 hours. So far this class has been the most meaningful class I have taken at AUM. I have learned so much! I feel like I have really discovered my passion--teaching Literacy. Reading and Writing have always been my favorite subjects--I have even wanted to write books since the 2nd grade--so it definitely makes sense that I would enjoy teaching this. This class was really a revolutional class--my professor taught us the new, non-traditional ways of teaching Literacy and I LOVE IT! Through my experience at Maxwell, I can definitely see that these strategies are WAY more effective than the old, traditional, rote practices. Another discovery I made is that I would really love to teach 1st grade! I used to think I wanted to teach 3rd-5th, but this experience has really helped me to see how great it is to teach at the 1st grade age. They are like little cute sponges. :) They are also still at the age where they want to please their teachers. I guess it helped that the children were so wonderful. So well behaved! You can definitely tell that the teachers have taken their time with the children to teach them how to behave. I feel that I became very close with my little group and I will miss them so much. My cooperating teacher was also amazing! I really learned a lot from her and hope to stay in touch with her. She was sooo sweet! I feel that we have a lot in common and I know I could learn so much from her! She is moving to another department next year and she wanted to have a fresh start, so she gave me all of her classroom stuff including her turtle! Now we have a turtle named Pokey Dot :) . I don't know how I will ever repay her! This has truly been one of the most amazing experiences I have had so far at AUM (and I've been going there for almost 4 years). I am so sad it's all over!! I seriously almost cried when I was making my kid's goodie bags for the last day! I can definitely tell that this is what God made me for :). I only pray my Internship will be this great of an experience...

Jackson Connor!

Wes's cousin, Rachael, had her sweet baby boy, Jackson Connor, on April 2, 2009 at about 5:30pm. He was 7lbs 4oz and was 20in long! :) She had a very scary delivery! She went into the hospital at about 7pm April 1st having contractions and high blood pressure. The next day they broke her water and induced labor. Jackson was still not budging. Because of her high blood pressure, toxemia or pre-eclampsia occurred which is very dangerous for the baby and especially the mom. They finally gave her a c section at about 5:30pm. Jackson was fine! He was beautiful and healthy! Rachael, other than being drained, was ok as well. Wes, his family, and I left the hospital and went to his parent's house. While we were starting a movie, we got a call that Rachael was unresponsive and hemorrhaging!! We all freaked out and raced to our cars and flew to the hospital. On the way, we called and got many prayer chains started. I also called my mom. She used to be the Head Nurse for Labor and Delivery at Jackson Hospital and I'd been updating her all day. When I told her what was going on, she said that she was hoping it wouldn't happen, but she kind of expected it because of the toxemia. She also said that most of the time, the mother does not make it. We were all just loosing it! It was terrible. We just prayed and prayed. Finally, after nervously waiting, we learned that Rachael was OK! Boy, were we relieved!!! It was truly a miracle! She is still doing fine, but does still have high blood pressure. Please keep her in your prayers! Jackson Connor is doing wonderfully (other than gas) and is such a BEAUTIFUL baby! Wes and I are such proud "aunts" and "uncles". And, for now, I believe my baby fever is cured for a while. Please continue to pray for our lovely cousin Rachael and her beautiful baby boy, Jackson Connor. Thank you!

Baby Fever

Surprisingly, I have not been able to get babies off the brain! Wes's cousin, Rachael, is expecting her son, Jackson, anytime and watching her at her baby shower just made my heart melt! When Wes and I were first married (about 4 months ago) I told him it would be a LONG time before I wanted children. Boy, was I wrong. (or girl...lol) I've almost been obsessed with it. Ever since that little scare we had about a month ago, my mind has been transfixed on having babies, being pregnant, all of it. I ask him almost everyday when we can have babies. So far his answer is one year. :( Realistically it makes perfect since--I'd be graduating from school, hopefully he'd have a good job with benefits, and HOPEFULLY we'd have a house or at least a nice apartment....BUT my heart and inner mommy find that totally unacceptable. :) I want them NOW end of story!!! I want to give my children the best life possible, but my baby clock is going off! I know I'm only 22 and I know we've only been married for 4 months....but SO! Haha! I did not expect this at all, but I want a baby as soon as possible! Preferably a girl! :) Of course, I'd be happy with a boy. I've thought about tricking Wes by not taking my BC, but I guess that wouldn't be very nice...like I said, I do want the best life for my children, but a year sounds like an eternity away! :( Please keep us in your prayers. The baby clock needs to quieten down or conditons need to hurry up and get good so we can have babies! :D Thanks for reading! (BTW, the baby pic was made by a baby maker--http://www.vw.com/vwhype/babymaker/en/us/--using me and Wes's pic :) )

No Bun in the Oven

We had a wonderful vacation to Destin, FL for Valentine's weekend. In our haste to pack, we forgot my BC pills. After our weekend, I begin to feel very nauseous. I even threw up twice one morning...and I NEVER throw up. I begin to have weird symptoms: dizziness, fatigue, nausea, bloating, lower back pain, cramps...which are usually the sign of a "bun in the oven". I began to get a little excited. I took a pregnancy test and it was negative, but I thought it may have been too early to tell. Despite my efforts to control myself, I was beginning to get very anxious and excited. My body had never felt this way and I was sure that we were expecting. Yesterday, mother nature proved me wrong. We were very sad...although very slightly relieved because right now we have no insurance and a pretty crappy income and living situation, but mostly I was very sad. I didn't think I wanted a baby for a while, but this experience made me realize that I REALLY DO! Just the thought of having a little person growing inside of me made by the love of me and Wes made me so excited....needless to say....AS SOON as Wes gets a proper job and we get things in order, we are going to try for a baby! YAY! I'm not too sure how soon or how later this might be, but I am hoping it is soon. I love Wes and I can't wait to start a family with him. I'm interested to see what beautiful children we can make. I definitely want our children to have the best life possible, so I'm hoping we can get financially stable very soon. Thanks for reading and thanks for your prayers.

Eclectic and "Coach Dunsieth"

We're now living in my hometown of Eclectic, AL. After much discussion, we found it best to move back to my dad's trailer in "e-town". Currently my brother and his roommate, Josh, live there also. So far it has been fine. Josh works at night and is rarely there and my brother kind of keeps to himself. We have already painted the master room we are staying in and are looking forward to painting the rest and redoing some of the flooring. Since moving, I've been very sick and needless to say, there are still SEVERAL boxes piled up everywhere. I hope to get better soon so we can finally organize everything! Right now, I'm not working and I love it! I can really focus on school and hopefully soon do some decorating. I know I'll have to look for a job soon, but right now I am enjoying some down time. Wes is liking his job at CVA and this past weekend, I got to finally go up there and watch a scrimmage game. It was a beautiful day and it was a lot of fun watching my husband coach in his tight baseball pants. ;) I feel positive things coming our way and I'm just so blessed to be married to such a wonderful man! I love you Coach Dunsieth! LOL

• Check out Wes's website on: http://5toolplayer.synthasite.com/ There you can find tips and the best available equipment for baseball.